New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We need a shit load of segways right now
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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