Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
