If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
