have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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