I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
so much tequila, so little girl.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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