I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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