Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
