omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
