I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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