I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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