i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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