but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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