Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
