I heard we made out
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
He felt like a one man threesome
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
