she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
