I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
