That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
