we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
