It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
