The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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