thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
