the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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