Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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