He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
