So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
