To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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