Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
id be glad to
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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