So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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