If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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