I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I am naked and annoyed.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
