Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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