Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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