he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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