I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
