Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
