If that was your dad, he is hot
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
