Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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