why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
