I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
