I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
