Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
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