You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
