we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
