I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Randomize
