We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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