You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
