I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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