Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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