dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
