Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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