I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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