btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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