when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
