we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
