how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
