Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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